It all makes sense now!

Well, at least I hope it all makes sense now.  At any rate, I'm finished with the first round of edits to the chapters I wrote during NaNoWriMo.  Some of them needed extensive rewriting, while others just need a little tweaking here and there.  I also wrote an entirely new chapter, so I boosted my total word count by around 5,000, now that the first round of work is over.  This means I can now continue working toward finishing the manuscript, at which point I'd like to try to do another round of edits before I consider it ready for exposure.

Last night, my husband and I sat around for a while as I worked out some thorny plot issues verbally with him.  I'm determined to do my best to make the plotting very tight, and to avoid those convenient little episodes that are oh-so-handy in terms of moving the plot along.  If some event happens, I want there to be a reason for it, and so I was using him as a sounding board, trying to figure out which of the options I was playing around with struck him as the most believable.  It was extraordinarily helpful.  Though he's always been supportive of me, reading my manuscripts and offering feedback, I think this was the first time I really used him in this capacity.  I guess this is because, while my novel is infinitely interesting to me, the last thing I want to do is bore other people to death talking about my work.

Really, what I'd like to do is to try to create a smaller, more focused group of fellow writers.  While going to the large group is extremely helpful, it's also a bit limiting because, naturally, we want to give everyone a chance to share some of their work, which means we only have time for small excerpts from each person.  I used to think writing was an entirely lonely exercise, and in some ways it is.  However, as I've worked on some collaborative projects and become involved in writers' groups, what I've found is that it can be really eye-opening to sit and toss ideas around with other writers.  I have a teaching background, so this doesn't entirely come as a surprise to me.  One of the things I liked doing as a teacher was attending conferences or team meetings where we'd share activities we'd done in class.  It inevitably resulted in surging creativity as the thoughts of one person were embellished by another person, and so on.

At the end of the day, if this novel becomes successful, it will be the direct result of not just my own writing, but of all of the assistance I've received from various friends and family members.  Without their contributions, the novel would definitely not be what it is, nor would it continue to evolve as it has without their feedback.  This, for me, is the most rewarding part of writing.  For a long time, I kept my work to myself because I was afraid of criticism, but now that I've taken a leap, I find the feedback and the time others devote not only feeds my creativity, it makes me a better writer.

And now, a small tidbit.  This particular bit of conversation really speaks to me.

***

          “But what’s more despicable is that the system not only allows this, it actively encourages it.  How many times have you been told you should report any suspicious activity?”

             

            More times than she could count.  “We’ve always been told that it’s for our own security,” Dara said.

             
           “That’s always what people say, when they’re busy stripping away rights.  If you work everyone up into enough of a panic, they’ll be glad to hand you things they’d normally never even think of giving up,” Mal told her.  “Don’t believe me?  I can give you plenty of books on the topic—books you’ve likely never seen in your life.  Why do you think that is?”

I Want My NaNoWriMo Back!

Yes, folks, I do actually want it back, and I'll tell you why very succinctly: when I'm doing NaNoWriMo, there is no time for crippling self-doubt, there is only time for word count.  Once NaNoWriMo ends, however, and the fever wears off, it's once again possible to become neurotic about all manner of things.

I can't stop thinking about that The Economist article that sneered at NaNoWriMo, implying that all NaNo novels are trash that "true" writing demands that the author "bleed".  Well, folks at The Economist, let me tell you: I could use a transfusion right about now because there's a heady mix of blood, sweat, and tears dripping all over my manuscript.

Still, I guess I could look at this as a good thing, right?  After all, if I were entirely convinced of my own brilliance, I would think my novel was perfect as is.  The truth is, though, that I can always find something to change, no matter how "finished" my manuscript may be.  While there are those magical moments during which I am very happy with what I've typed, they are far outnumbered by those moments where I agonize over every word, where I keep returning to the same sentence over and over because It's.  Just.  Not.  Right.

Now, I'll come right out and admit that I am a perfectionist, which means I hold myself to a ridiculously high standard.  This is both a good thing and a bad thing.  While I'm glad that I always want to do my best, and that I strive to improve myself, I'm also terrible at cutting myself any sort of slack.

Tonight, my temptation was to just keep on going, even though I began to feel like I was beating my head against a brick wall repeatedly.  Instead, I made myself put it down and step away.  If I had nothing but time to write, maybe I would be easier on myself (that's a big, fat maybe, folks) but since I have to try to cram my writing in whenever I can, I get a bit stressed.  I'm sure many other would-be writers can relate.  You sit down, ready to put words on the screen or on paper, and then real life interrupts and you're forced to walk away.  Then, when you can finally return, you rack your brain, searching for that brilliant sentence you had composed in your head or that great plot twist you were about to use and...nothing.  Big, fat nothing.  Your carefully planned out, exquisite words are gone and lost forever.  It's maddening.

At any rate, the revisions are coming along rather well.  I've had to totally scrap some chapters and rework them and, tonight, I wrote an entirely new chapter 18.  Since I ended NaNoWriMo at the beginning of chapter 25, I'd say I'm making pretty good progress.  I've also beefed up my word count by several thousand.  I'm at a pivotal point now.  I still have quite a bit of story to tell, but I'll soon need to think about wrapping it up.  ABNA approaches, my friends, and I still want to allow myself at least a couple of weeks to go over the "finished" product, so I'm aiming to write my ending by the end of December.

I also just want to take a moment to recognize the friends and family members who are reading the manuscript and helping make it better.  I am more grateful for your contributions than I can say.

And now, a bit of an excerpt!

***

            “After a great deal of discussion, the Senior Engineers and I have come to a decision as to who is to accompany us to our meeting with Agricorp,” Andersen announced.  His hands behind his back in a rather military posture, he began to stroll slowly around the room.

“Mr. LeTour,” he said, coming to a stop right next to Ryan.  He was so close that Dara was certain his posture was deliberate, calculated to intimidate.  It appeared to be working. Though Ryan kept his face straight, he blanched.  “I will state up front that I found your performance extremely disappointing.  Your ideas were mediocre, your research unsatisfactory.  I don’t know how to account for your lapse in performance but, let me assure you, this will be your last.  Any further misstep will result in your immediate termination from the program.  Is that understood?”

“Yes, sir,” Ryan said, his voice strained.  Andersen smiled a slow, tight smile, and Dara felt her stomach turn.

He’s actually enjoying this! she realized.  He’s enjoying humiliating Ryan in front of the rest of us.

As Andersen turned his back and moved away from Ryan, Chen shot a look of such vile disgust at his apprentice that Dara had to look away.  Though Ryan was without redeeming qualities, as far as she could see, she still found it difficult to see him the subject of so public a flogging.

             I’m not sure anyone deserves to be treated that way.

NaNoWriMo 2011: It's official, I've won!

Even though I hit 50,000 words several days ago, "winning" for NaNoWriMo didn't start until the 25th and, what with the holidays and all, I frankly forgot to verify until today.  However, I've amended that and it is now official: I have completed NaNoWriMo for the second year in a row, which means I'm 2-0. 

As I said in an earlier post, this doesn't mean that my novel is finished, though.  I had intended to keep writing throughout the month, but I've been taking a much needed break.  Now that Thanksgiving is over and I'll be back to my normal routine, I'm going to start working on my novel again.  I'll also continue to blog and post excerpts.

While I am relieved and excited that NaNoWriMo is over and that I managed it, I'm now turning my thoughts to ABNA, which will happen in a matter of months.  From now until then, I'm going to be editing and finishing my manuscript so that I can submit it in the Young Adult category of ABNA.  I'm very hopeful that this manuscript will garner some attention, and I'm going to continue to keep my eye on the prize: my dream of seeing something I've written in print.

I'd be remiss if I didn't thank my husband here.  He's been so great about taking care of some of the parenting duties so that I could have some extra time to write.  As always, he's been a constant source of support and encouragement, reading the manuscript and offering me his thoughts on it.  When I get worried and self-critical, he's good at bringing me back down to Earth.  Thank you so much, honey!

And thanks to those of you who've been keeping up with my blog and following me on Twitter.  It's exciting for me to see unfamiliar names in my followers, and it's gratifying to know there are people out there who are interested in my work.  Knowing you're reading inspires me to push myself harder, so that I can continue to draw you in as, for me, that's the greatest reward of all.