Book Launch Day: Asleep is now available!

In 2012, I decided to try my hand at self-publishing. I wrote Contributor for NaNoWriMo 2011, and it was a novel I wanted to get into the hands of readers rather than sitting on my hard drive collecting dust, which is where all my other manuscripts were. It wasn't ready for publication yet, though, so I decided that, in the meantime, I'd polish up a manuscript I'd written and loved but never thought would be considered marketable enough for me to try shopping it to agents. My goal was to sell 100 copies in the first year. With a great deal of trepidation, I clicked the publish button on The Eye of the Beholder.

Now, a year later, it's still my most successful book. I not only sold those 100 copies, I sold a lot more than that--more than ten times what I'd hoped to sell. I had no idea a Beauty and the Beast retelling would resonate with so many others. I've always loved fairy tales, but I was sure the book was something no publishing company would ever touch, so self-publishing was a huge boon to me.

Since publishing that book, I've published several others. I was a bit like a kid in a candy store. I love to read, love to write, and I wanted to just writing everything I could. Each of my books is special to me in its own way, but The Eye is extra special because it proved to be the little book that could.

Writing a bunch of different things in a variety of genres has been fun, but when NaNoWriMo 2012 rolled around, I wanted to get back to my fairytale roots, and I decided to go with a reboot of Sleeping Beauty. Asleep is the end result.

I won't lie: the book gave me some serious headaches. I had fun doing the world building, and I loved the characters, but I had a hard time wrestling the book into submission. There was much stressing as I tried to figure out a timeline that would work and as I wrote and rewrote chapters to try to make everything mesh together. Then, one magical day, things finally began to fall into place, and I'm quite pleased with the end result. I hope you will be too!

**Note: This book contains some mature content**

A reimagining of the sleeping beauty tale.

When her beloved Prince Devaran is abducted from her parents’ castle during their engagement announcement ceremony, Princess Jessmyn vows that nothing will stop her from bringing his abductors to justice. Rescuing Dev won't be easy, and Jess will have to form an alliance with the other Realms if she's to win the most important battle of her life.

Imprisoned in a forbidding tower, Dev tries to find a way to warn Jess of the perils she’ll face. Weakened by deprivation and by the drugs administered by the madwoman who kidnapped him, Dev drifts between sleep and consciousness. As he relives cherished moments spent with Jess, Dev wonders if he’ll ever again be with the woman he loves.

Asleep is available on Nook, Kindle, and Kobo.

Special thanks to the awesome SM Reine, who did Asleep's fabulous cover. If you think Asleep's cover is beautiful, be sure to check out the gorgeous covers she does for her own books. They'll look fabulous on your ereader! Happy reading!

Announcement: I'm going to be a YA Indie contributor!

I'm very pleased to announce that I'll be contributing to the blog YA Indie.  If you haven't visited it yet, you should really check it out.  It's a collective of indie YA authors covering various topics related to writing and the world of YA.

I know, I can't believe they were crazy enough to add me as a contributor either.  I'm really looking forward to disrupting the order chiming in over there, and I hope it helps my readers to find some great new indie authors.

Monday Musings: What to write next?

One of the biggest challenges for me as an indie author is deciding what I'm going to work on next.  I have so many irons in the fire, so many ideas, that it's hard for me to decide which one to go with.  When you couple this with the business end of things, well, it really gets messy.

Of my three books, The Eye of the Beholder is my best performer.  It took off much more quickly than I'd expected.  Frankly, I didn't think anyone would want to read a fairy tale retelling.  I'm glad everyone who's purchased my book has proven me wrong!  Its success has inspired me to write a second fairy tale book, which will be my NaNoWriMo project for this year, and which I hope to publish early in 2013.  I love fairy tales, so I'm more than happy to write more now that I know there's a demand for them.

Creators and Contributor are proving much slower to take off.  This is so funny to me because I was convinced that the reverse would be true.  Just goes to show you that, when you do this self-publishing thing, you never really know how things are going to go.  Sometimes I feel like I spend 99% of my time flailing in the dark, angsting over what marketing (if any) I should do, what genre might prove to be the most reliable, etc.  I didn't go into this expecting to be a pro, but it is uncomfortable to feel like such an amateur at times.

My intention was to continue on with the Contributor trilogy, but now I'm really torn.  I resurrected an old partial manuscript for a contemporary women's fiction novel, and I'm strongly tempted to finish it first and then work on the next Contributor book once NaNoWriMo is over.  I'm very curious about how that book would perform, and having books across three different genres would probably also give me a better idea of what types of books are more successful.  Then again, another part of me feels like I need to stick to one thing and then branch out later.  I'm afraid if I'm spread out over multiple genres, I'll lose readers because, even if they liked one of my books, they might not necessarily care for the other genres I'm writing in.

Right now, I am leaning toward working on the contemporary novel.  I had some more ideas for it this morning, and I'm anxious to tackle it.  Maybe I need a little space from the Contributor saga.  Either way, I'll be in front of my keyboard again tomorrow morning, working on my next novel.  I've had a bit of a break and now it's time to get back to work.

I also want to announce that I'll be doing another free promo with Creators on Wednesday, September 19.  I was excited about how successful the last promo was, and I'm hoping to reach even more readers with this next promo!

Monday Musings: Writing is my business

I've been an aspiring writer pretty much ever since I learned how to write.  I've always had stories in my head, a notebook in hand, and have spent countless hours scribbling and typing away.  However, I also suffered from crippling insecurity that made me really loath to share anything other than papers I wrote for high school and college.  I poured so much of myself into my writing that I was terrified of someone criticizing it.

It took me a long time to get over that fear.  Along with that, I constantly reminded myself that writing wasn't practical, so I had a series of more practical jobs.  Of those, teaching was the only one that was fulfilling for me, because I loved working with students.  Still, there was something missing from the equation.  I felt like I wasn't really getting out of life what I wanted to get out of it.

After much research and agonizing, my husband finally helped convince me to self-publish.  I won't lie: a really strong voice in my head told me not to do it, to instead query agents and to try to find a publisher.  I wanted the sense of validation that I thought a publishing contract would bring, and I also wanted to realize my childhood dream of standing in a bookstore next to a copy of my book.  However, I had reached a point in my life where I knew I was going to need to start looking for another career, and I was tired of taking meaningless jobs just to pay the bills.  I didn't have years to devote to trying to get a publishing deal, so I decided to take the plunge and self-publish.  I wanted to see if I could make a go of writing as a career.

So far, the results of my self-publishing endeavor have exceeded my hopes and expectations.  I thought maybe I might be able to sell 100 copies of The Eye of the Beholder in a year, so imagine my surprise when I reached that goal less than three months after publishing.  Every time I see the book on someone's "to-read" shelf on Goodreads, or I look at my sales figures on Amazon, I have this sense of unreality.  People are actually reading my book.  They are actually spending their hard-earned cash on something I wrote, they are reading it, and they are taking the time to write reviews and/or rate it.  That truly blows my mind.  What's more, I wouldn't even have tried to shop The Eye because I'm pretty sure no publisher would have chosen to take a chance on it.  If it wasn't for self-publishing, The Eye would have remained a book that only a few people had ever seen.  Since it took me more than seven years to finish it (between the actual writing and the editing), it makes me really sad to think of it languishing on my hard drive.

The other thing I've realized about self-publishing is that I love having control over the process.  I love that I don't have to completely redo a manuscript with which I am happy.  I don't doubt that many editors can and do take works and make them better, but it hurts to think of being compelled to make changes to my story that I wouldn't really want to make. 

Another huge plus for me is having complete control over my cover art.  I can say quite confidently that I am the world's worst artist, so I've reached out to talented people to design my covers, and I love working with them and watching the cover take shape.  I love being able to pick which elements I want on the cover.  Had I been traditionally published, I would have had absolutely zero say in this part of the book's production.

But the real icing on the cake is my ability to write whatever I want.  I don't have to be confined to any one genre, and that's a good thing for me.  There's nothing wrong with being devoted to a single genre, but I want to dabble in several different ones.  I love that I can write some fantasy, then some science fiction, and then maybe a mystery, all without being under a contractual obligation to deliver one type of book and one type only.

I'm not trying to say that self-publishing is all fun and games.  It's also very stressful, and a ton of work.  I hate promoting my work but, then again, even if I'd been published by a traditional publisher, I'd likely have been responsible for doing a lot of my own promotion.  Still, I'd love to have experienced marketers on my side since I am seriously lacking in that area. 

At the end of the day, though, hitting that "publish" button on Amazon was one of the best things I've ever done.  Who knows if I'll ever reach a point where my writing provides a living wage.  I hope it does, but what really matters is that I am finally able to share my stories with others, which is what I've wanted all along.  Even if I do have to go out and get a practical job, I won't stop writing--and I won't have to.  I have my readers to thank for that.  There really aren't enough words to say how much I appreciate you.  With every sale I get on Amazon, I'm more and more inspired to sit down and write, write, write.  Thanks to you, I'm now a more productive writer than I've ever been in my life--and I'm also happier than I've ever been.  So thank you for giving me the chance to truly live my dream.

Sample Sunday: Creators: The protests begin

What if you had to choose who will live and who will die?

*****

“There isn’t enough food, is there?” Mei asked quietly.  The angry expression had faded, replaced by one of concern, and Liang knew she was worried not just about the decrease in the food supply, but also about him.

“No, there isn’t,” he admitted.  In a way, it was a relief to unburden himself at last.  He felt lighter for not having to conceal the knowledge any longer, but rather than making him feel better, this made him feel worse.  How could he be relieved to know that his sister would now have to be as burdened by the awful knowledge as he was?

Mei picked up her napkin and toyed with it, winding it around her fingers.  “I suspected as much.  I’ve been doing calculations, and I knew the numbers weren’t adding up.”

Liang paused in his pacing and smiled ruefully at his sister.  “I should have known you’d start calculating.”

“I’ve also been calculating the yield from the hydroponics, and I know those numbers don’t add up either.  So what next?”

Righting his chair, Liang dropped into it, suddenly exhausted.  “We step up production on the domes and activate them ahead of schedule.”

He sat quietly, watching the emotions play over his sister’s face as she worked out what this meant.  It seemed she, like him, was trying to reject what was becoming apparent.

“So, that means…” she began, but her voice faltered.  She bit her lower lip, and tears welled in her eyes.

“It means that the leadership team has to do an evaluation of all our Contributors.  It means we have to place every last one of them on a scale, from necessary to dispensable,” he said, the words bitter on his tongue.

His sister stifled a sob and turned her head away from him.  He looked away as well, unable to bear her pain.  It reminded him too much of his own.

“But…but how…  What are you going to say to people?” she finally asked, breaking the heavy silence.

“Nothing.  Nothing at all.  There will be no announcement to the public of what we’re doing.  Instead, people will be moved into the domes in stages and, after the last stage, the domes will be sealed.  And I’ll have to live with the knowledge that I condemned thousands of people to death without saying a word to them.”

“You can’t be serious!  The Job Creators can’t just keep people in the dark like that!” Mei cried, rising from her seat.

“Think about what would happen if we told them.”  He softened his voice, trying to get her to calm down.  Her shoulders tensed and then collapsed, and she sank into her chair.

“But it’s not fair.”  Her protest was a mere whisper, and Liang responded to it with a bitter laugh.

“Not fair?  It’s cruel, is what you mean.  We’re leading people to believe we’re conducting more dome tests and then, when the doors are permanently sealed and the realization of what’s happening to them sinks in, those of us who were lucky enough to have a ticket to the inside will go about our business as if millions of people aren’t dying right outside our doors.”

Mei sobbed, and Liang was stricken that he’d spoken so baldly.  He had desperately wanted to protect his sister, then he had given her the truth in such harsh terms.  But was there any gentle way of delivering such news?

They sat silently for a long time, their food untouched—which only served to make Liang feel even guiltier.  Here they were, the world on the brink of a famine that would kill billions, and he was wasting food because he didn’t feel like eating.  The thought made him sick to his stomach and he doubled over, wrapping his arms around his midsection.

“You know, I used to be so jealous of you,” Mei said softly, her voice startling him out of his miserable reverie.  “I used to wish that I was the oldest, that I could be the CEO of Zhang Agritech.  But now…now that I know what’s going on, Li, I…I don’t even know what to say.  I wouldn’t want anyone to be in the position you’re in, least of all you.”

“Someone has to make the decisions,” Liang said, clutching his stomach.

“That’s the really horrible part, isn’t it?”

I'm a featured author.

I'm really excited to be a featured author today on Aside from Writing.  It's a really great blog devoted to promoting indie authors, and each day you'll find features on various authors and books, along with giveaways.  It's a great site if you're looking to discover some amazing new indie authors and books.  I also can't say enough nice things about my experiences working with the blog's founders.  They were sweet and absolutely a joy to work with!

Tomorrow, my Sample Sunday post will feature an excerpt from Creators, and I'm really excited to share it.  Writing the Contributor trilogy is turning out to be such an amazing experience for me.

Lastly, I want to just thank all of my readers.  Whether you've picked up a copy of The Eye of the Beholder or a copy of Creators (or both!), I just want you to know that you're helping me to live my dream, and that is priceless to me!

Tidbit Tuesdays: The trilogy begins!

I'm really excited to offer this first glimpse into Contributor today.  This book was born during NaNoWriMo 2011, when I thought, "Hey, why don't I try writing a YA dystopian/post-apocalyptic novel?"  I had a lot more fun writing it than I would have imagined! 

*****

Dara swallowed hard, trying to fight the nausea that threatened her concentration.  As she stared at the monitor, the numbers and symbols seemed to swim through her vision, and she blinked several times, forcing herself to focus.  Though she was only seventeen, her training as an engineer had begun at the age of three, so she was more than capable of handling the task before her. 

This, however, was no exercise.  If she failed this evaluation, none of her years of hard work and dedication would matter.  She would lose her position amongst the Ballasts and would have to take up one of the menial occupations of the Cores.  If she did well, a prosperous future would be well within her grasp.

With one last deep breath, Dara looked at the screen. As she exhaled, she cleared her mind.  To her immense relief, as soon as she started to pick apart the problem, she lost all sense of her surroundings, her mind completely focused on unraveling it and implementing a solution.
At first glance, the problem appeared to be simple, but Dara knew the engineers wouldn’t lob anything quite so easy at her.  Because she had been first in her class, they would want to test the limits of her abilities, so she continued examining the schematics in front of her, her mind working rapidly to diagnose and analyze the problem.  She ran through a couple of scenarios, rejecting several possible solutions until, finally, everything clicked into place.  She broke into a wide grin as her fingers flew over the interface.  It was tempting to pump her fist in the air when the machinery resumed its smooth operation, but she managed to restrain herself—barely.

Almost instantly, a door opened and a tall, imposing man entered, followed by two women and one other man.  

“Ms. Morrow, I’m Head of Engineering Andersen, and these are my subordinates, Senior Engineers D’Angelo, Walters, and Chen,” the tall man said.

Stunned, Dara hoped she wasn’t gaping.  She’d had no idea the Head of Engineering would be supervising her evaluation, which was a good thing.  Had she known, she’d have been even sicker with apprehension. 

“P-pleased to meet you,” Dara said, cringing internally at her stutter.  She offered her hand first to Andersen, who shook it with a bruising grip.  Each of the others shook her hand in turn, and Dara tried her best not to squirm as they studied her.

“Due to the high level of aptitude shown by your evaluation results, you have been selected for a specialized apprenticeship program.  You and two other candidates will spend a year under the tutelage of the senior engineers.  The highest performer may earn the opportunity to become my assistant,” Andersen announced.  His eerie blue eyes were very keen, and it was clear to Dara that this was a man who missed nothing.

“Oh, thank you, Head of Engineering Andersen.  This is truly an honor, and I’ll work very hard to prove myself worthy,” Dara said.  She fought to remain composed as a giddy combination of relief and excitement washed over her.

“I will expect you tomorrow morning at six-thirty sharp, when you will begin your training with Senior Engineer D’Angelo.  A word of caution to you, Ms. Morrow: you must operate at your peak each and every day.  I expect nothing less than a stellar performance from you.”  Andersen’s eyes met hers, and Dara had the disconcerting sensation that his gaze was boring straight through her, stripping away skin and bone, muscle and sinew until all that was left was her very essence, her innermost thoughts.  She tried hard to suppress a shudder and thought she saw Andersen’s mouth quirk, as if he had noticed her discomfiture.

“I assure you, sir, I will not disappoint you,” Dara vowed.  The thought of working with this towering, blond, imperious man was dismaying, but she wouldn’t allow this to show—she couldn’t.  She knew full well that becoming the assistant to the Head of Engineering would mean big things for her.  If she had to work herself half to death in order to impress him, so be it.  Nothing mattered more than securing her future with Magnum.

“I will see you in the morning.”  He examined her for one excruciating moment before turning smartly and leaving the room. 

“Congratulations, Contributor Morrow,” Walters said, smiling warmly.

“We’ll see what you can do tomorrow,” Chen told her, a muscle in his cheek twitching.  The two shook her hand and left the room.

“I’ll escort you to the exit,” D’Angelo offered.  Her face betrayed nothing, and Dara’s stomach quaked.  The Senior Engineer was taller than Dara, her dark hair pulled back in an immaculate twist.  Her face would have been devastatingly beautiful were it not for the cold expression in her eyes.  As D’Angelo turned, Dara shivered.

They wound their way through the corridors of headquarters, Dara peeking into every window as inconspicuously as possible.  Though apprehensive about her severe master, she was barely able to contain the excitement that made her feel as if she wanted to fly apart.  She couldn’t believe that she was actually here, in Magnum’s headquarters, and that she was going to become a part of its team.  Her head spun as she thought about her acceptance into the elite apprenticeship.  She couldn’t imagine a more perfect beginning to her career.

They finally reached the exit, which led into the thoroughfares ringing the dome.  D’Angelo closed the door gently behind her.

“Be prompt tomorrow,” D’Angelo instructed, smiling and nodding at a man with a Magnum badge who was passing by, before turning back to Dara, all trace of the smile gone.  It was disconcerting.

“I will,” Dara promised.

“Head of Engineering Andersen is a man of many talents and one of Magnum’s most valued Contributors.  He has high expectations and misses little,” D’Angelo said, emphasizing the last two words.  “You must be meticulous.”  Each syllable was like a hammer blow, and Dara forced herself to stand up straighter.

“Of course.” 

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Motivational Mondays: From one book to the next!

Happy Monday!  This is pretty much the summer of vacations for me.  I went on one at the end of June, came home for a week, and then left for the next.  The end result is, my house is desperately in need of cleaning and I am so not motivated to do it.  However, I've been really productive in the book department, so I'm happy about that!

What I’m working on: Now that Creators is finished and published, it's time for me to turn to Contributor.  I entered it in ABNA this year, so I'd already done several rounds of edits, but I'm going to put it on my Kindle and do another round of edits.  I've found that doing this is a really effective way at catching small errors (i.e. using "or" when I meant to use "of"), and it also lets me see how the book will look once it's finished.  I'll also give that one a spin through SmartEdit as that program was extremely helpful when I was doing the edits on Creators.

What I hope to achieve: This week, I'm scaling back my expectations because I did just publish another book.  The problem I find with writing is that I feel a sort of compulsion to work constantly.  If I'm not writing, I'm feeling guilty about not writing.  However, as with any job, it's also important to have some down time and to do other things like reading or exercising or cleaning my house.  If I don't take the time to relax, I start feeling really frazzled and stressed out and that really does nothing to improve my writing.  So, for this week, I'll maybe read a few chapters of Contributor.

What are my challenges: House cleaning.  Seriously.  It takes up so much time it's unreal.  Also, as I mentioned, I need to give myself permissions to just relax once in a while.

What freaks me out: I'm not sure if it's because The Eye of the Beholder has already been out there for a while, but I'm not quite as terrified of bad reviews this time around.  Granted, I know it'll be tough to get bad reviews, but I think publishing that first book was the point where I really stepped off the cliff.

My one big worry about writing a trilogy is maintaining consistency.  I never thought about how HUGE writing a series is until I start writing one.  Now I worry a lot about readers contacting me saying, "In book 1, character A says this but, in book 3, they do something that totally contradicts it."  I once read there was an editor whose sole function was to read all of J.K. Rowling's books to make sure the spells were consistent throughout the series.  It seemed kind of strange to me at the time, but now I totally get it.

What’s making me happy today: Having another book published, of course!  And the fact that I've already had my first sale.  I'm also very pleased that The Eye of the Beholder continues to sell a few more copies each month.  Progress is good!

Teaser for Tuesday: Tomorrow I'll offer a first peek at Contributor.  Though Creators is part of the universe, it's a standalone story, so Contributor will offer the first look into the meat of the trilogy.

I've published a new book!

I'm really excited to announce the publication of my new book, Creators!  It's a prequel novella to my forthcoming Contributor trilogy.  It's a YA post-apocalyptic novel--very different from The Eye of the Beholder.  It's been really fun for me to tackle a new genre.

Without further ado, I give you Creators:

When the imminent collapse of the world’s food system threatens to all but eradicate the human race, it’s up to nineteen-year-old Liang Zhang to determine which of his company’s employees will live and which will die.

Liang and the other Job Creators have only weeks to choose which of their staff and families to move into the domes, the last refuges on the barren planet. Despite their best efforts, the Job Creators are unable to keep their selection project under wraps, spurring violent protests against the privileged few.

Now, Liang must race: against starvation, against insurrection, and against his own conscience. 

You can purchase the novel or download a sample on Amazon.

Sample Sunday: Mira stands up to the Beast

“Mira, you are a sentimental fool,” I said, shaking my head and smiling rather condescendingly at her.  “Your heart bleeds for those who know nothing of you and care nothing for you.  Why waste your time?”

“Why do I even bother to discuss these things with you?”  Her eyes were full of reproach, and I could see that I had ruined her cheerful mood.

“Why do you?” I sneered.

“Never mind.”  She tossed the book aside rather fiercely and rose from her seat, stalking over to the bookshelves on the other side of the chamber.

I watched the rigid set of her shoulders as she moved.  I knew exactly why she read such things to me and then attempted to discuss them with me.  She was searching for some good within me, attempting to give me the opportunity to prove myself redeemable.  She was incurably naive in this respect. 

“Would you rather I read to you about wars and pestilence?” she called, after a long moment of silence.  She remained with her back to me, and she ran a rather listless finger over the leather-bound spines on the shelves.

“Why should I wish to hear about pestilence?  I have already told you numerous times that the sufferings of others are meaningless to me.  Perhaps if I were suffering from a pestilence myself, I might muster some curiosity on the subject, if only in the hopes that it would enable me to find a cure.”

“Of course.  You care to hear of something only if it directly involves you.”  The line of her slender shoulders grew even tauter, and I watched as one of her hands balled into a fist.  I could see her body heave as she took a deep breath, and I knew she was attempting to quell her anger.

“Wars are another matter,” I said, wanting to stoke her anger before she could regain her faculties and answer my scathing remarks with smiles, as she had taken to doing as of late.

She turned to eye me warily.  “Indeed?”

“Certainly.”  I sat back in my chair.  I felt a sense of satisfaction creep over me as I watched her face.

My next words were certain to provoke her.  “There is appeal in hearing about those who have used might and brutal force to take what they will.”

There was a flicker of horror in her eyes, but her recovery surprised me.  “Not everyone is as unscrupulous as you,” she said triumphantly, her smile returning.  “I shall be glad to read you war tales.  Shall I start with the tale of the ancient Eudorian king who went to war to free the slaves of Lynere, or would you prefer the history of the knights of Altheria who swore their lives to the noble service of stamping out injustice wherever they encountered it?”

Ah, but two can play at this game.

“Neither.  I would prefer for you to read the history of Marcus the Black, who went to war for the sheer thrill of cutting down his enemy.”

I watched as Mira scanned the shelf and removed a book.  She walked over to me and deliberately flung the tome into my lap.  “Read it yourself then.”  She spun on her heel and stormed out of the library with a furious rustle of silken skirts.

Tidbit Tuesdays: The beginning of the end of life as they knew it

Creators is making its last appearance in the Tidbits Tuesday feature, because it is no longer the work in progress.  Next week, I'll be offering up a taste of Contributor, the first novel in my postapocalyptic/dystopian trilogy.  I hope you enjoy this opening scene from Creators!


They were losing the war, this much was obvious.  Standing and surveying the fields, Zhang Liang swallowed against the lump in his throat.  As far as the eye could see, the crops were dying.  Liang crouched and grabbed a handful of earth, feeling his own impotence as it trickled through his fingers.  It was so depleted it could no longer sustain life, as evidenced by the dessicated plant stalks waving forlornly in the hot breeze.  No matter how much they tinkered with the soil, Zhang Agritech Systems was unable to successfully replace nutrients in the soil.

Wiping his hand on his thighs, Liang stumbled over to a vivid green patch.  In a blind rage, he began yanking plants out, feeling a vicious sense of satisfaction as he tore their roots from the earth.  Even so, he knew it was an empty gesture.  No matter how valiantly the corn and soybeans fought, they were helpless against the onslaught of the virulent pigweed, horseweed, and countless other so-called superweeds.

A sudden pressure on his shoulder reminded Liang that he wasn’t alone, and he looked up into the sober gaze of Anya Ragulski, his second-in-command.

“The collectives are no longer viable,” she told him, her voice so soft it was almost lost in the drone of machinery trying desperately to provide enough water, enough of a precise chemical cocktail to support the crops needed to feed millions.

“But without the collectives…” Liang began, but the thought was too horrible to contemplate, and the words died in his throat.

“There will be widespread famine,” Anya finished, her voice so collected that Liang stared up at her, caught between horror and admiration that she could remain so calm.  However, as he studied her face, he realized there were tears in her eyes, that her expression was rigid.

“Maybe we just need more hands.  We could institute another selection process, bring more field workers into the collectives.  There are more than enough candidates,” Liang suggested, the words falling out of his mouth faster and faster, as he tried to cling to this one last surge of hope. 

Just this morning, throngs of people had stood outside the secure, electrified, razor-wire topped gates of the collective, their starved faces staring avidly at his armored motorcade as it glided by on nearly silent electric motors.  Though life in the collectives involved a great deal of grueling, back-breaking labor, its workers went to bed with a full belly every night, something about which many people could only dream.  The first ten years after the launch of the collectives had been rough because it had been so difficult to find people willing to spend hour after hour toiling in the blazing sun, but conditions on the outside had deteriorated to the point that there were now more people desperate to work the collectives than there were jobs.

“If we increase the number of hands, we won’t be able to provide them with food in exchange for work, let alone supply those who don’t work the collective,” Anya reminded him, her patient tone cracking around the edges.  She’d told him this already, but the knowledge refused to enter his head.  The more he tried to accept reality, the more his brain fought to reject it.

“Then why did you bring me here?”  Liang was unable to keep the bitterness from his voice as he pulled himself up from the ground.

“Because I knew you had to see it.”  Anya studied him with an unwavering gaze until he turned from her, yanking his protective goggles from his face and pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes.  She was right; he wouldn’t have believed numbers on a report, would have rejected the graphs and projections. 

After several moments during which Liang stared unseeingly at the hands toiling at their fruitless labors, Anya finally spoke.  “We knew this day was coming.  You know we’ve done all we can, Liang.  Our scientists have been working around the clock—but I’m not telling you anything you don’t know.  You’ve seen the data.  You know how many of them have collapsed from exhaustion, how many have had cardiac episodes due to the stress.”

Unable to speak, he simply nodded in acknowledgment of her words.  Yes, he’d seen the data, but how could anyone be expected to process the beginning of the end of life as they knew it?

Sample Sunday: Angering the Beast

After spending a night in the Beast's castle, Mira's father takes what he thinks is the perfect gift for his daughter and suffers the consequences...


Peering out, I could see that the man was approaching the gates.  He paused as he reached them, glancing back over his shoulder.  I moved into the shadows, concealing myself from his gaze.  He stared at the castle for several long moments before stepping down from his wagon and walking carefully across the gravel path to the castle walls, casting glances about him as he went.  I was perplexed, but then I saw his object.  Slowly, he approached the castle wall and reached out a hand to touch one of the roses.  I went perfectly still, my spine rigid.  Reaching into his pocket, the man pulled out a small penknife and used it to cut the rose from the vine. 

Pure, sheer rage washed over me like a black wave, and I let out an ear-splitting roar.  Before turning from the window, I could see the man start, his face as pale as milk.  I ran on all fours from the second floor, down the stairs, and burst through the front entrance of the castle.

“Merciful heaven!” the man shrieked, dropping to his knees and throwing his arms over his head at the sight of me.

He was tall and thin with arms and legs that were ropy and well-muscled.  His hair was a drab shade of brown, and what I could see of his face was very plain and trembling with terror.

“You dare to steal one of my roses?” I roared.

He cried out in terror.  “For-forgive me.  I d-did not mean any harm,” he said, sinking closer to the ground, as if he sought to sink directly through it, the rose still clutched in his hand.  I could see a bright spot of blood on his thumb from where he had pricked himself with one of the thorns.  He had dropped his knife and it laid useless on the ground, far too small to be any threat to me and my rapier-sharp claws.

“You did not mean any harm?” I asked, my voice lowering into a deep and menacing growl.  “I offer you my hospitality, feed you and shelter you for the night, and you repay me by taking what I hold most dear?”

“I did not think anyone lived here.  I did not think the rose would be missed,” he said, in a small and terrified voice.

“Then who fed you, built you a fire?” I asked, astounded by the stupidity of his statement.

“I am sorry.  Please, I beg you, have mercy on me.”

“Mercy?  Why should I have mercy on a thief?  I should strike you dead where you cower,” I growled furiously.

He lowered his arms and looked up into my face.  I could see an expression of abject terror in his eyes, and a shudder of revulsion passed over his features.  I raised one of my arms, ready to strike him down, but he held the rose out and pleaded with me.

“I beg you, do not kill me.  I have three daughters waiting for me at home.  What will become of them if I do not return?” he asked, his voice pitiful.

“Your daughters are none of my concern!” I shouted unthinkingly.  “Why did you take my rose?”

“I took it for my youngest daughter.  Her sisters asked me for expensive gifts, but she asked only for my safe return.  I wanted to bring her a book, but could find none,” he babbled.  “She is such a good child, such a kind and generous child, and I could not bear to return without a gift for her.  When I saw this rose, I knew that she would love it.  She has always loved flowers.”

Slowly and in spite of my rage, my mind was beginning to work.  This man had three daughters, one of whom he described as kind and generous and who loved roses.  Surely it would be a waste to simply kill him.  Perhaps there was another option.  I was silent for so long that the man ceased to shake and sob and went into what appeared to be a state of shock.  His eyes went dull, and I knew that he believed I was going to kill him.

“You have two choices,” I growled, speaking slowly.  “Your first choice is to go home and, in a fortnight, return to me.  You will be placed in my dungeon as my prisoner, where you will die.  Your second choice is to send your youngest daughter to me in your place.  I will not confine her to the dungeon, nor will I mistreat her in any manner.  She will be well cared for and protected in my castle, but she must remain with me forever.”

The man began to shake and sob again.  “Please, have mercy!  I will not send my youngest to you!  But if I die, how will my daughters survive?”

“Those are your choices,” I replied coldly.  “I care not what difficulty they cause you.”

“Please, sir, I beg you…”

“Silence!” I roared.  “Be gone before I change my mind and kill you after all!”

My words spurred the man to action.  Without looking at me, he clambered up into his wagon, his hand clutched so tightly around the rose that it was white.  The rose itself was a deep, deep crimson, the color of the blood that ran from the puncture wound in the man’s thumb.  The horse was nearly screaming in fear.  His eyes rolled back in his head, showing me their whites, and he reared and nearly toppled both the wagon and himself.  The man managed to hold on and, as he applied the whip, the horse shot forward and sped out of the gate at breakneck speed.

I stood watching the man as he disappeared in a cloud of dust down the road.  Then I closed the gates and walked back into the castle, finding my servants assembled in the great hall.

“I expect you heard every word of that exchange,” I growled.  They stared at me with their blank eyes but did not move.  “Then you know what needs to be done!  Ready both the dungeon and one of the guest chambers!  We shall be prepared to deal with whoever returns here in a fortnight’s time.”

To preview other chapters, read reviews, and purchase a copy of The Eye of the Beholder for Kindle, visit Amazon; or visit Goodreads for additional reviews.

My first review and I am giddy!

I just couldn't resist posting because, right now, I'm about to do a little happy dance.  First, I yelled, "Yay!" and clapped my hands.  Then I kissed my beaming husband.  And now I have a grin that I just can't wipe off my face, and it's all because I got my first review, which happens to be 5 stars!  To be honest, right now I want to crack open some champagne and then run a few laps around my office.  Few things are more thrilling than having put my book out there and finding out that someone not only read it, they really liked it!

This moment is sweeter to me than I can express.  The Eye of the Beholder was a labor of love over seven years in the making for me.  When I finished writing it years ago, I was very happy with it but, since then, had come to think there were some flaws that needed fixing.  This meant spending months tearing some chapters apart and completely rewriting them before I felt that the book had become what I had always wanted it to be.  That five star review is priceless to me!

So pardon me.  I'll need to go back and read my review a few thousand more times!

Motivational Mondays: Are pantries organized in dystopian universes?

Because I’ve been so inconsistent with my blog, and because I want to put it to better use, I’ve decided to do regular posts on weekdays, and each day will have its own theme.  Today, I’m debuting my Motivational Monday theme.  It’s my hope that this post will get me geared up for a week of productive writing, as well as encourage some discussion.

What I’m working on: I’m plugging away at Creators, which is a prequel novella to Contributor, the YA dystopian novel I’m planning on publishing in July.  Creators stands alone, so it’s not required in order to understand Contributor, but it does explain the origins of the world that is portrayed in Contributor.  I’m really excited about Creators and the direction it’s taking.  I think it’s going to help make the Contributor universe even richer.

What I hope to achieve: I hope to finish Creators and begin the editing process.  I’d like to publish it sometime this month, and I’m currently working with someone on some concepts for cover art.  I can hardly wait to see what those will look like!

What are my challenges: My biggest challenge right now is finding the time for writing!  When I sit down to do it, I want to be able to focus and just pour my heart out into my writing, but that can be difficult with kids at home.  It’s almost time for summer vacation, so this is going to be even more of a challenge for me in the upcoming months.

What freaks me out: Two things:

1) Getting my first review for The Eye of the Beholder.  I want to be clear that I do want reviews because I am honestly eager for feedback from my readers—and not just the positive kind, though that is admittedly the nicest kind.  In some ways, though, the negative kind is the best because it helps me to determine what I need to do to improve, and I never want to stop trying to improve.

2) Worrying about whether I can turn my love of writing into a full-time job.  I’ve been scribbling ever since I was a kid, and being an author has always seemed like a pipe dream.  I really want to make it my reality, though, so I have been working harder at this than I’ve ever worked at anything before, and I feel so fortunate to have a wonderful support system at home, as well as to have found several places where I can network with like-minded people.  Writing is my passion, but it’s also my business, and I want to make it the best it can be.

What’s making me happy today: Seeing how much my daughter loves her new room setup.  My husband and I spent hours working on it yesterday, and all she wants to do is hang out in it!  Everybody needs a space of their own, so it’s good to know my little girl has found it in her own room!

We also put in a new pantry, and I’m really excited that it’s finally organized so that I’ll be able to find things quickly.  The pantry used to be the place half-finished bags of chips went to die, but now I’ll know they’re there!  It’ll also make it easier for me to indulge in my passion for cooking, because I won’t have to dig around to find the ingredients I need.  I know.  I never thought I’d be such a boring adult either!

Teaser for Tuesday: Tomorrow I’ll be debuting my Tidbits Tuesday feature.  This week, I’ll be featuring an excerpt from my work in progress, Creators, along with a little commentary on it.

Fun with covers

When I decided to self-publish my novel, there were many things I worried about (aside from whether it would sell--but I think that one goes without saying!), from whether it would be difficult to format the novel for upload to KDP (it wasn't--thank you, Scrivener!) to if my blurb does enough to convince people that they must read my book (jury is still out on that one).  The one thing I didn't stress all that much about is the one thing that has turned out to be the most stressful aspect of all this: the cover.

Now, if I were independently wealthy, I wouldn't even attempt to make my own cover.  I'd hire some talented artist, admire their work, and be done with it.  Hopefully, I'll get to that point someday.  But because I'm just starting out, I decided to tackle my own cover, with a great deal of assistance to my husband.

Fortunately, my husband is a great photographer, so finding images wasn't a problem.  He had taken this fantastic shot of a castle called Bouillon, which he took when we were visiting his family in Belgium.  It's a magnificent site, a castle whose initial construction dates back to the 8th century.  I liked the aged, somewhat ruined look of the picture and was sure it would make a great cover.  After some quality time with Photoshop, my husband created a cover for me, and we both thought it looked really cool.

However, while I do still like the cover, while watching my sales figures, I began to suspect that maybe the cover wasn't really conveying what I wanted it to convey.  I started to wonder if it was too unclear what it might have to do with the novel and that it might be difficult just by glancing at it to get an idea of what to expect from the book.

That said, I made a marketing decision to create a new cover.  After more time with GIMP and Paint.Net than I care to admit, I've come away with a whole new appreciation for graphic artists and cover designers and with some prospective covers that will hopefully reach an audience more effectively.

I would really love some feedback as it will help me to get a better picture of what will work.  Please vote in the comments with the number of your favorite, and any suggestions as to what you think might help improve the cover.  So, without further ado, here they are:

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Fairytales: not just kid stuff

I have to admit that when I talked about my manuscript for The Eye of the Beholder, I was kind of embarrassed to tell people what it was about.  Lately, I've been a lot more open about my writing and have asked friends and family to read manuscripts and give feedback, but in the past my writing was kind of my secret.  When people did find out I'd written something, their first question would always be, "What's it about?"  This question never failed to fill me with dread.

This is partially because I was anxious about how people would react.  I understand that not everyone is going to be in love with the genre I've chosen, and that's fine.  But it's always awkward to be put into a situation where I'm talking about something that has so much of my heart and soul in it because I'm afraid the other person might not be interested but will be forced, for the sake of being politely social, to pretend like they are interested.  Sometimes I think people are more interested in the idea of someone writing a book than they are in the actual reality of the book, and that's fine.  As with anything in life, though, it's hard when something that's meaningful to you doesn't seem like such a big deal to other people, particularly when those people are important to you.

The other reason why this question fills me with dread is because it's very hard to boil down the essence of your novel into just a few words.  My fellow writers know what I'm talking about.  The thing that stressed me out the most about ABNA was writing my pitch.  When I published The Eye, I was more wigged out by trying to write the novel's description than I was by writing the actual novel.  It's very difficult to make things sound snappy and interesting without giving too much away and in only a few hundred words.  Anyone who's ever picked up a book and not made it all the way through the flap description will understand what a skill it is to write copy that's attention-grabbing.

Now, take all of this and imagine that the book you just wrote is about a fairytale.  I will temporarily go all geeky on you and say that fairytales weren't originally for children, they were for adults.  They were often used as a way to talk of forbidden or subversive things (like how much the king sucked) while still being able to claim innocence.  Don't believe me?  Pick up a copy of Grimm and/or Andersen and read just one of the tales there.  I guarantee they're nothing like the Disney versions--not that I'm knocking Disney because I very much dig their fairytale movies.  My point here is that using a fairytale to tell a story offers a means to tell a tale through a familiar lens while trying to put your own unique spin on it.

Of all the fairytales, the Beauty and the Beast tale has always been my favorite.  There are two reasons for this: I love its theme of redemption and I love the message that love goes far beyond the merely physical.  Beauty learns to look past Beast's appearance and love him for who he is while Beast has to become a better version of himself in order to be worthy of her love.  This is meaningful to me because I think the best kind of love is the love that inspires you to be more than you are.  I am definitely not talking about a relationship where you have to lose weight because your boyfriend tells you to lose weight.  That's not love at all.  What I'm talking about is the relationship where you feel like your partner loves you warts and all and also helps highlight your best traits.  Real love should bring out the best in you.

This is why I chose to do a retelling of the tale.  I'm the kind of writer who thinks a lot about my characters and what motivates them.  This is partially a reflection of my personality.  Not only do I tend to think about why people do the things they do, I think a lot about what motivates me to do what I do.  I think self awareness is a very good thing, as long as you don't take it too far, which I sometimes tend to do.  I can be my own worst critic, and I think that's reflected in the character of Lysander, who has a tendency to be his own worst enemy.

Writing the novel was very challenging at times because it is difficult to take a character like Lysander, who is initially so unrepentant, but who ends up genuinely wanting to change.  Mira wasn't without her challenges either, as I wanted her to be very strong-willed but, yet, she had to somehow fall in love with someone who, let's face it, isn't very nice in the beginning.  This often made me feel like I was walking a tightrope, but hopefully I pulled it off.

The Eye of the Beholder is available in the Kindle store and can also be borrowed from the Kindle Owner's Lending Library for those of you who are Prime members.  Happy reading and stay tuned--for my next trick I will try tackling women's lit!

Thoughts...tricky, tricky thoughts...

Obviously, I've taken a rather lengthy hiatus from blogging.  This is for a multitude of reasons, the primary one being that, as much as I love how plugged in the Internet and all its wonderful tools (Twitter, Facebook, etc) allow me to be, I reach a point where maintaining a presence with all of them starts to really feel like a chore.  I'll sit down with the intent to spend half an hour catching up on Twitter only to find myself emerging over an hour later, blinking in bewilderment like someone who's just walked out of a cave.

I also tend to suffer greatly from a particular form of writers' guilt in which I feel just plain terrible and wasteful if I engage in any sort of leisure activity when I think I should be writing.  Seriously, I am an unforgiving taskmaster, as if I expect myself to spend my every waking moment chained to my computer writing, writing, writing.  This is sort of unjust as I've actually done a LOT more writing in the past year than I had done for probably the three years preceding.  I have finally managed to get myself to a point where I no longer accept excuses like "I'm just not inspired today" to hold me back.  I sit and put words on the paper.  Sometimes it's easy and I write a thousand or more words before I even know it.  Other times, it involves a lot of backspacing, undoing, retyping, etc.  If there's one thing I've learned from NaNoWriMo, it's that getting the words down is the important part.  I can--and do!--go back later and write and rewrite obsessively, striving for perfection.

After I did not make the second round of cuts for ABNA, I had a lot of thinking to do.  Did I want to polish up the ol' manuscript and try to shop for an agent, with the hopes that one might pick it up and sell it to a publisher with the end result of my seeing it in print within the next few years?  Or did I want to go the self-publishing route?  I agonized over this for weeks.  I feel sorry for my poor husband because he had to listen to me go on and on about it.  My dream has long been to have my book published, to go to a bookstore and see it sitting on the shelves.  However, I know how long a process this can be, and that's if you're lucky enough to find someone willing to publish your manuscript.  While I think my manuscript has an audience, I am not exactly overflowing with the conviction that some publisher is dying to take a gamble on me.  Plus, you know, the whole thing is scary.

However, self-publishing is also scary because, let's face it, there's still a bias out there about it.  In all honesty, I don't really get this.  Sure, maybe not everything written is a work of sheer genius, but what difference does that make if it finds an audience?  Even if two people enjoy it, there are two people who found something in the marketplace they wouldn't otherwise have found.  They are being provided with a good that they value and, really, isn't that what writers strive for?  I mean, we all want to write works of timeless wonder but the bottom line is that what we really, fundamentally want is for people to read our words.  Otherwise, why bother writing them?  Why in a culture that so values indie films and indie bands, so we sneer at indie authors?  I think the popularity of e-readers is changing this dynamic, and I think that's a good thing for both authors and readers.  Readers will be provided with even more choices than ever and the barriers to entry that once held deserving writers back will no longer exist, offering them the possibility of making a living doing what they love--writing.  Remember, J.K. Rowling received numerous rejections before someone decided to take a chance on her.  What if they hadn't?  What if Harry Potter had never been published?  Isn't that mind-boggling to think of?

Which leads me to my own personal decision: I have decided to indie pub one and possibly multiple novels.  I want to start small, get a feel for how things work, and see how well I do.  Because I find the ABNA rules a bit unclear, I have decided to refrain from publishing Contributor until after ABNA has ended.  This will give me time to do another round of edits and work on getting a good cover ready.

In the meantime, I have decided to publish another of my manuscripts, The Eye of the Beholder.  This is a novel that I spent seven years writing--and over the past few days I've rewritten a couple of the chapters with the intent of writing more.  See what I mean about writing and rewriting?  At any rate, this is a manuscript that is near and dear to my heart.  It's a retelling of the beauty and the beast story, which has always been a particular favorite of mine.

However, because it's so different from Contributor, I have decided to publish it using a pen name, whereas I intend to use my real name when I publish Contributor.  I'm doing this purely for the sake of clarity, so my readers will know what sort of work they're getting if they decide to purchase one of my books.  Because I like to dabble in various genres, I'm planning on using multiple pen names, one for each genre in which I write.  Hopefully I'll do at least one of those genres justice.

Things are going well with the edits, and I anticipate having the book available for Kindle devices by early May.  Because I am starting small and because I am frankly very attracted to the opportunities offered by the Kindle Owners' Lending Library, my book will be exclusive to Kindle for at least the few months.  Depending on how well it does, I may then look to using something like Smashwords to make it available on multiple platforms.

Right now, I'm feeling very lucky.  I have an extremely supportive husband who is 100% behind me, as well as a great writing group and some supportive friends and family members who have given their time in order to read and critique my manuscripts.  I am excited about the possibilities for the future.  I can hardly wait to share my work with a broader audience.